Straight Music
In high school, when somehow I was even more insecure than I am now, I would actually create CD playlists to further purport my veil of heterosexuality. I used what I'll call "straight music" to reassure myself and others that I held "normal" music tastes. Back then, a burned of mine CD might have started off with 311, Blink-182, or some other popular, mainstream rock band who targeted the 18-29 male population. I didn't dislike these songs, per se, but I certainly didn't listen to them when I was alone in my car. For some reason, I've recently become reattached to some "straight" songs. Really mainstream songs that would probably be considered "overplayed" or "soooo last month," but new to me because I don't listen to popular radio or watch MTV.
Does this suggest something? Am I subconsciously slipping into my old ways--creating a character for me to play, so that I don't have to deal with what's really going on with the actor behind it? I don't know.
I've also proven just how cynical I am. Apparently, some guy I work with (who's always been really really really creepy with me, in that touching-me-saying-awkward-complementary-things-to-me way) has some mad gastro-intestinal issues, which prevent him from controlling his gas. Well, he's apparently also working at Gap while on disability (illegal?), and has recently been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and kidney troubles. I didn't even believe it for a minute when someone was telling me, and had no real interest in even supposing it might be ue. Do you normal humans have another reaction when issues of this nature are presented to you? I'm assuming so.
I've started reading Cyndi's journal again, after losing the link to her journal when my computer crashed. Her writing has become a bit of an indulgence for me--it just enthralls me and makes me feel weird inside.
And I feel really guilty about everyone I abandon and pick up again as friends. Why do I do this? I mean, this relationship pattern is an obvious alternative for some people for whom I care less about. But Erin? I just don't get it. Nothing at all. Joe? And let's not even get started on how much of an asshole I've been to Zoe. But, I suppose, unless you are one of these people, this means nothing to you, which means it means nothing to me, since me and my "straight songs" exist to serve everyone but me.
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Showered and Shaved Before Noon?
I'm deeply involved in season two of Six Feet Under, now out on DVD. That's what I've been spending my free time watching.
My poor, ugly car is broken again. As I drove into the city for the unpteenth time this week, all electrical functions in my car flickered and stopped working. Then, my battery's meter slipped into uncharted territories, and soon after, my car would not move forward. Luckily, I pulled off of heavily-trafficked Lawrence into a residential area. My alternator, it seems, decided to go on strike. THEN...after receiving a rediculous estimate of $600 for the replacement job--apparently, an alternator's average price is only $120, while the fucks at Midas wanted to charge me $300--my father decided that he and I coudl fix it ourselves. SO...I drove out to the suburbs once again, and after taking apart my engine, he and I realized that we had no idea what we were doing. The last time my father had fixed an alternator was thirty years ago. So, now it has to be towed to Sears.
As the previous anecdote reveals, my life is really quite boring right now. I just spent two minutes of my life typing about an ALTERNATOR. What is wrong with me?
I'm deeply involved in season two of Six Feet Under, now out on DVD. That's what I've been spending my free time watching.
My poor, ugly car is broken again. As I drove into the city for the unpteenth time this week, all electrical functions in my car flickered and stopped working. Then, my battery's meter slipped into uncharted territories, and soon after, my car would not move forward. Luckily, I pulled off of heavily-trafficked Lawrence into a residential area. My alternator, it seems, decided to go on strike. THEN...after receiving a rediculous estimate of $600 for the replacement job--apparently, an alternator's average price is only $120, while the fucks at Midas wanted to charge me $300--my father decided that he and I coudl fix it ourselves. SO...I drove out to the suburbs once again, and after taking apart my engine, he and I realized that we had no idea what we were doing. The last time my father had fixed an alternator was thirty years ago. So, now it has to be towed to Sears.
As the previous anecdote reveals, my life is really quite boring right now. I just spent two minutes of my life typing about an ALTERNATOR. What is wrong with me?
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Sunday, July 18, 2004
Wedding Prettiness and Related Atrocity
Lauren and Noah's wedding was a success. The bride looked stunning. I will post pictures eventually. Perhaps.
In related news, a certain character in the Wedding Play has a sour case of homophobia that inappropriately revealed itself to my mother and a hotel room full of Rs. I've thought about it, cried about it, and it's over. Nothing to be done.
Shannno and I didn't go to sleep until 6AM this morning, and woke up not long thereafter for Lauren's post-wedding brunch, so I am ready to pass out.
Lauren and Noah's wedding was a success. The bride looked stunning. I will post pictures eventually. Perhaps.
In related news, a certain character in the Wedding Play has a sour case of homophobia that inappropriately revealed itself to my mother and a hotel room full of Rs. I've thought about it, cried about it, and it's over. Nothing to be done.
Shannno and I didn't go to sleep until 6AM this morning, and woke up not long thereafter for Lauren's post-wedding brunch, so I am ready to pass out.
Sunday, July 11, 2004
The Bell Doesn't Toll For Thee
How depressing--to be the groomsman in one of my best friend's wedding just as the Senate begins debating the Federal Marriage Amendment. This week, depending on what happens in DC, could be very awkward.
I went to Lauren's bachelorette party last night, which featured the most powerful Cosmos in the cosmos, a "sex toy" Tupperware-style party segment, where a woman came and sold us "erotic supplies" (Anal Eze = lidocaine for one's ass...nasty), and a barrage of BFF-ing. I'm quite excited about next weekend, but will miss Laurne McLaurne when she moves to New York (temporarily) with Noah.
In other news, the successes of the summer include mending my finances, the Pink Party, and my summer class, while the failures include my job, the second summer session class that I'm not taking but am still registered for, a fraudulent seller on eBay who has my money, and being a god friend unilaterally.
Yawn. Work on a Sunday. A hungover Sunday.
How depressing--to be the groomsman in one of my best friend's wedding just as the Senate begins debating the Federal Marriage Amendment. This week, depending on what happens in DC, could be very awkward.
I went to Lauren's bachelorette party last night, which featured the most powerful Cosmos in the cosmos, a "sex toy" Tupperware-style party segment, where a woman came and sold us "erotic supplies" (Anal Eze = lidocaine for one's ass...nasty), and a barrage of BFF-ing. I'm quite excited about next weekend, but will miss Laurne McLaurne when she moves to New York (temporarily) with Noah.
In other news, the successes of the summer include mending my finances, the Pink Party, and my summer class, while the failures include my job, the second summer session class that I'm not taking but am still registered for, a fraudulent seller on eBay who has my money, and being a god friend unilaterally.
Yawn. Work on a Sunday. A hungover Sunday.