Important
This will be my very very last post here, at boyinbrownshirt.blogspot.com. Repeated security breaches have necessitated my transition to another journal. If you have any interest in reading this new journal, please e-mail me at...
Brian_Solem@hotmail.com
Don't e-mail me at aol.com, since I rarely check that E-mail. Archives will remain here until I can figure out how to move them. Thank you for your understanding; a detailed explaination of everything can be found at my new journal.
A day in the life.
A record of the life and times of one brown shirt-wearing university student, struggling to escape his fear of intimacy, overcome his hunger for eternal supremacy in every aspect, and never have to write a description of his life like this again.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
Abbilash Talkies
I haven't seen a film with a real, live human character in many many weeks. First, Theo and I saw The Polar Express, a film with an awful plot (perhaps I think it's awful because I was never read the book as a child and therefore have no emotional tie to it) and a faulty, awkward animation style. Then, he and I saw The Incredibles, which was wonderful all over. I really enjoy Pixar films; they're timeless and flawless. One day later, Lauren (in an outing that was preceded by several months of me being a cold, dirty fish to her) and I saw Team America: World Police, which enthralled me mostly based on the marionettes. I have always been fascinated by marionettes, and wanted one desperately as a child. The plot--well, as the Onion wrote, it worked better as a real Jerry Bruckheimer-brand action film than a satire. But it was still fun. THEN, to reach my quota of four non-human films per year, I rented Shrek 2, which was annoying, awful, and proposterous. I didn't really like the first one, mostly because of its association with a guy I dated (it was our first date activity; he was an asshole). The second one reminds me of that old camp song adage, "Second verse, same as the first--a little bit louder, and a little bit worse." Blah.
There are at least 67 films I'd like to see that are coming out before the new year.
Otherwise, nothing to report. I feel like these film reviews cheapen this journal, but when filmwatching is the highlight of my life, what else do I have to write about?
Oh, the Newberry Seminar. It's a 6-credit hour course hosted by all of the Chicago-area universities at the Newberry Library downtown. Essentially, it's an English course with an emphasis on research, and only five students from each participating university are allowed to participate. Even though I just got a rave review on a well-researched essay from my S. Asian lit prof. (who happens to be the dept. chair this year), my insecurities prevented me from applying. So, I basically have nothing to help me get into a good graduate school except for decent grades. So, I'm fucked. So, aaaah.
I haven't seen a film with a real, live human character in many many weeks. First, Theo and I saw The Polar Express, a film with an awful plot (perhaps I think it's awful because I was never read the book as a child and therefore have no emotional tie to it) and a faulty, awkward animation style. Then, he and I saw The Incredibles, which was wonderful all over. I really enjoy Pixar films; they're timeless and flawless. One day later, Lauren (in an outing that was preceded by several months of me being a cold, dirty fish to her) and I saw Team America: World Police, which enthralled me mostly based on the marionettes. I have always been fascinated by marionettes, and wanted one desperately as a child. The plot--well, as the Onion wrote, it worked better as a real Jerry Bruckheimer-brand action film than a satire. But it was still fun. THEN, to reach my quota of four non-human films per year, I rented Shrek 2, which was annoying, awful, and proposterous. I didn't really like the first one, mostly because of its association with a guy I dated (it was our first date activity; he was an asshole). The second one reminds me of that old camp song adage, "Second verse, same as the first--a little bit louder, and a little bit worse." Blah.
There are at least 67 films I'd like to see that are coming out before the new year.
Otherwise, nothing to report. I feel like these film reviews cheapen this journal, but when filmwatching is the highlight of my life, what else do I have to write about?
Oh, the Newberry Seminar. It's a 6-credit hour course hosted by all of the Chicago-area universities at the Newberry Library downtown. Essentially, it's an English course with an emphasis on research, and only five students from each participating university are allowed to participate. Even though I just got a rave review on a well-researched essay from my S. Asian lit prof. (who happens to be the dept. chair this year), my insecurities prevented me from applying. So, I basically have nothing to help me get into a good graduate school except for decent grades. So, I'm fucked. So, aaaah.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Personal Failing No. 894
For whatever reason, my lackluster interest in studying and doing homework has reached an all time low since this semester began. I hate how class sessions are filled with so much uncertainty; even if I feel I've sufficiently read what I needed to read (for the classes I actually prepare for), I'm still under-equipped to handle discussion. I'm skipping my first class simply because I don't want to deal with the unexpected this morning; while this is my first absence from this class (a personal record?), the pain of actually going to that class will pale in comparison to the fear of not knowing what I've missed by skipping.
How does one motivate oneself?
For whatever reason, my lackluster interest in studying and doing homework has reached an all time low since this semester began. I hate how class sessions are filled with so much uncertainty; even if I feel I've sufficiently read what I needed to read (for the classes I actually prepare for), I'm still under-equipped to handle discussion. I'm skipping my first class simply because I don't want to deal with the unexpected this morning; while this is my first absence from this class (a personal record?), the pain of actually going to that class will pale in comparison to the fear of not knowing what I've missed by skipping.
How does one motivate oneself?
Sunday, October 17, 2004
On Awful Consumption-Driven Holidays
Instead of graciously allowing Theo and me to have some intimacy last night, Yuki decided to punish our sodomy by tearing up an entire box of Kleenex all over the house. Just because we took your sex drive away doesn't mean you can punish us for still having it.
In other news, the Chicago Tribune just announced that GEORGE W. BUSH is their candidate for president. How can this paradigmatic Chicago institution betray its state's Democratic identification and supporta candidate that most of its state doesn't? Oh, yeah, media deregulation. Duh. (Bastards--they no longer will serve as my "home page"--since Theo has had to have a NYT subscription for his class, I've fallen in love with the paper, and it will now greet me every time I access the Internet.)
Work, then "training."
Instead of graciously allowing Theo and me to have some intimacy last night, Yuki decided to punish our sodomy by tearing up an entire box of Kleenex all over the house. Just because we took your sex drive away doesn't mean you can punish us for still having it.
In other news, the Chicago Tribune just announced that GEORGE W. BUSH is their candidate for president. How can this paradigmatic Chicago institution betray its state's Democratic identification and supporta candidate that most of its state doesn't? Oh, yeah, media deregulation. Duh. (Bastards--they no longer will serve as my "home page"--since Theo has had to have a NYT subscription for his class, I've fallen in love with the paper, and it will now greet me every time I access the Internet.)
Work, then "training."
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Old Hat
I've been ruminating about this old hat for several days, and I suppose it's time I try it on once again. I will spare you the long, drawn out melodrama that is my inner struggle with (etc. etc.), and instead will present you a detailed list of the banal undertakings with which I have preoccupied myself.
1. As of a few months ago, Theo and I (along with Allison, the singular exception to my friend-phobic syndrome) have been undertaking the odd, vulgar sport of bowling. Truly, I reserve my Sunday evenings for a piece of smoky, smelly, noisy sanctuary that is the bowling alley. And I adore it. Now, the three of us have a goal--to compete in the 2006 Gay Games in Chicago.
2. Theo and I, thanks to the Chicago International Film Festival, saw the premiere of Annette Bening's Being Julia. A film about an aging stage actress in the late 1930s, Being Julia tickled me pink. It wasn't until later that I realized it has a similar setup to Sunset Boulevard. Oh well. Ms. Bening was actually present for the screening, as she accepted an award for her dedication to "discovery." She's radiant. Theo and I will be attending a screening of The Polar Express next week, at which both Tom Hanks and Robert Zimeckis will be present.
3. While home this weekend, I "liberated" city property by removing a Bush/Cheney '04 sign from the easement of a street near my house. As the days progress, and the polls show a tighter and tighter race, I've begun preparing for the worst. I'm really not confident that Kerry will win (especially when, I've learned, a close friend simply cannot make up her mind between the two candidates). I know this will sound awful and harsh, but I cannot understand why one would support President Bush unless they are rich, or a conservative Christian, or ignorant. I think that the so-called "liberal media" has successfully presented a fair depiction of the devastation that is the war on Iraq, and if that, along with national security, is the lone issue on which people vote, the evidence is clear that George W. Bush is unable to succeed in either of these "wars." (I must stop now, even though I could write pages and pages regarding current world politics.)
4. In my creepy solitude, I've also taken up sewing. I'm getting weird.
5. I've seen many wonderful movies and read many wonderful books, but I won't bore you with reviews.
6. Yuki has successfully learned to both sit and shake--two feats I never thought I would see in her. I jsut had her groomed this week, and the apathetic groomer (I refuse to say where I went; it explains everything) trimmed her fur down to 1/2 inch or so. She looks like a real German Shepherd, which wasn't what I was going for. Worse yet, the groomer actually LISTENED to me when I said, "keep her tail kind of long." She didn't trim a hair off Yuki's tail; its rotund shape nearly dwarfs that of the rest of her body.
7. I've also become an eBay addict. But, that's pretty obvious--if you've been to eBay, you can understand what I mean.
8. I'm really getting into straight-leg jeans. I think they're fantastic. Hello, 80s. I also found a brilliant Harris Tweed (the highest-quality tweed ever) herringbone-patterned blazer at Village Discount Outlet a few weeks ago. The cost? $1.50.
9. My relationship with Theo has become a mutually satisfying endeavor; while we still bicker on occasion, I'm truly grateful for what I have, especially considering the awfulness other couples I've witnessed must deal with. (I suppose, though, that given the fact that he is the only person I even have to "open up" to now, I'm a bit jaded and rose-colored-eyeglassed. But that's still nice.)
I'm not sure when journaling here will become a habit again, but until that day comes, enjoy autumn.
I've been ruminating about this old hat for several days, and I suppose it's time I try it on once again. I will spare you the long, drawn out melodrama that is my inner struggle with (etc. etc.), and instead will present you a detailed list of the banal undertakings with which I have preoccupied myself.
1. As of a few months ago, Theo and I (along with Allison, the singular exception to my friend-phobic syndrome) have been undertaking the odd, vulgar sport of bowling. Truly, I reserve my Sunday evenings for a piece of smoky, smelly, noisy sanctuary that is the bowling alley. And I adore it. Now, the three of us have a goal--to compete in the 2006 Gay Games in Chicago.
2. Theo and I, thanks to the Chicago International Film Festival, saw the premiere of Annette Bening's Being Julia. A film about an aging stage actress in the late 1930s, Being Julia tickled me pink. It wasn't until later that I realized it has a similar setup to Sunset Boulevard. Oh well. Ms. Bening was actually present for the screening, as she accepted an award for her dedication to "discovery." She's radiant. Theo and I will be attending a screening of The Polar Express next week, at which both Tom Hanks and Robert Zimeckis will be present.
3. While home this weekend, I "liberated" city property by removing a Bush/Cheney '04 sign from the easement of a street near my house. As the days progress, and the polls show a tighter and tighter race, I've begun preparing for the worst. I'm really not confident that Kerry will win (especially when, I've learned, a close friend simply cannot make up her mind between the two candidates). I know this will sound awful and harsh, but I cannot understand why one would support President Bush unless they are rich, or a conservative Christian, or ignorant. I think that the so-called "liberal media" has successfully presented a fair depiction of the devastation that is the war on Iraq, and if that, along with national security, is the lone issue on which people vote, the evidence is clear that George W. Bush is unable to succeed in either of these "wars." (I must stop now, even though I could write pages and pages regarding current world politics.)
4. In my creepy solitude, I've also taken up sewing. I'm getting weird.
5. I've seen many wonderful movies and read many wonderful books, but I won't bore you with reviews.
6. Yuki has successfully learned to both sit and shake--two feats I never thought I would see in her. I jsut had her groomed this week, and the apathetic groomer (I refuse to say where I went; it explains everything) trimmed her fur down to 1/2 inch or so. She looks like a real German Shepherd, which wasn't what I was going for. Worse yet, the groomer actually LISTENED to me when I said, "keep her tail kind of long." She didn't trim a hair off Yuki's tail; its rotund shape nearly dwarfs that of the rest of her body.
7. I've also become an eBay addict. But, that's pretty obvious--if you've been to eBay, you can understand what I mean.
8. I'm really getting into straight-leg jeans. I think they're fantastic. Hello, 80s. I also found a brilliant Harris Tweed (the highest-quality tweed ever) herringbone-patterned blazer at Village Discount Outlet a few weeks ago. The cost? $1.50.
9. My relationship with Theo has become a mutually satisfying endeavor; while we still bicker on occasion, I'm truly grateful for what I have, especially considering the awfulness other couples I've witnessed must deal with. (I suppose, though, that given the fact that he is the only person I even have to "open up" to now, I'm a bit jaded and rose-colored-eyeglassed. But that's still nice.)
I'm not sure when journaling here will become a habit again, but until that day comes, enjoy autumn.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Freeformblah
Well, my summer has officially drawn to a close. True, I have something like 8 days until school begins again, but with the cool weather and the insane amount of work, I will no longer be allowed to have any fun for several months. I will actually be paid OVERTIME this week--how awful, that I've spent 43 hours of this week at Gap. That's almost two days of this week. I worked from 8AM-9PM a few days ago. I cannot do that again. My feet are killing me, because they were cramped in these cute pointy-ish-toed shoes all day. They're not pointy enough to regularly cause me pain, but because I put some inserts in to compensate for my rediculously high arches, there wasn't enough room for five toes in them. Then, after working eight hours tonight, I had to drive around with theo for two hours to find parking. Two hours. Two hours of the rest of my pseudo-summer were spent in a car, just so I could go home and pass out. And now he's watching some CNN shit, so I can't go to sleep because we've been sleeping with each other through this past week, and the television is right next to my bed, practically. Fuck.
Well, my summer has officially drawn to a close. True, I have something like 8 days until school begins again, but with the cool weather and the insane amount of work, I will no longer be allowed to have any fun for several months. I will actually be paid OVERTIME this week--how awful, that I've spent 43 hours of this week at Gap. That's almost two days of this week. I worked from 8AM-9PM a few days ago. I cannot do that again. My feet are killing me, because they were cramped in these cute pointy-ish-toed shoes all day. They're not pointy enough to regularly cause me pain, but because I put some inserts in to compensate for my rediculously high arches, there wasn't enough room for five toes in them. Then, after working eight hours tonight, I had to drive around with theo for two hours to find parking. Two hours. Two hours of the rest of my pseudo-summer were spent in a car, just so I could go home and pass out. And now he's watching some CNN shit, so I can't go to sleep because we've been sleeping with each other through this past week, and the television is right next to my bed, practically. Fuck.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Observations
So, Yuki is a Republican. And I'm fine with that, I suppose. I came home this afternoon to see that she had mauled my Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker. I mean, this thing was destroyed. Only an R could have done such damage. And I know I should be more upset, but it's alright--so whatif she doesnt want her fathers to marry? So what if she's a crazy Christian zealot? So what if she wants only the rich to flourish in the twisted capitalizm of our fine country? I still love her.
But...just in case she was rethinking her allegiance to the almighty W, I bought her an elephant chew toy. And, in the few hours I've left the two of them alone, it looks like she might be saved after all.
I spent my hours away from my socially-conservative dog and her (former?) political mascot viewing the film Garden State downtown. The one word I would use to describe this film is genuine. Natalie Portman's character was just so...real, and perfect, and reflective of so many humans in my life. Variety described the film as "piecemeal," but I would definitely disagree. Sure, the whole "enjoy life" theme may be a bit cliche, but the film really elegantly handled the overused mantra and used it to tie the seemingly unrelated elements of the film together. Aside from the story and acting, I really enjoyed the visual aspect of the film--lots of symmetry (I have a mild symmetry fetish) and well-orchestrated images. The soundtrack is also brilliant. Go see this film.
So, Yuki is a Republican. And I'm fine with that, I suppose. I came home this afternoon to see that she had mauled my Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker. I mean, this thing was destroyed. Only an R could have done such damage. And I know I should be more upset, but it's alright--so whatif she doesnt want her fathers to marry? So what if she's a crazy Christian zealot? So what if she wants only the rich to flourish in the twisted capitalizm of our fine country? I still love her.
But...just in case she was rethinking her allegiance to the almighty W, I bought her an elephant chew toy. And, in the few hours I've left the two of them alone, it looks like she might be saved after all.
I spent my hours away from my socially-conservative dog and her (former?) political mascot viewing the film Garden State downtown. The one word I would use to describe this film is genuine. Natalie Portman's character was just so...real, and perfect, and reflective of so many humans in my life. Variety described the film as "piecemeal," but I would definitely disagree. Sure, the whole "enjoy life" theme may be a bit cliche, but the film really elegantly handled the overused mantra and used it to tie the seemingly unrelated elements of the film together. Aside from the story and acting, I really enjoyed the visual aspect of the film--lots of symmetry (I have a mild symmetry fetish) and well-orchestrated images. The soundtrack is also brilliant. Go see this film.